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What our resumes would look like as college students, if we were totally honest.  I do not recommend copy and pasting this for your next job interview. 

Young College                                    Current Address:
titty_fucker@geemail.com                            State University   
                                                                         This Town, SA 30322
                                                                          Phone #: Don’t bother, I’m sleeping  
                          
EDUCATION
 
State University This Town, SA
Bachelor for Women in Economics and History, May 2009
Extremely Adjusted GPA: 3.5/4.0 (excludes unimportant classes I did poorly in)
Generic Honors:  Freshman Honor Society (top 50% of class)
                             Phi Lambda Ralpha Historica Economica National Honor Society
Activities:  Beta Theta Pi Fraternity –  Beer pong captain
                   Intramural tennis – doubles consolation fourth place

EXPERIMENTS   
Student Government Office                                         This TOWN, SA
Student Worker                                                              October 2007 – 2009
· Finish homework, catch up on class readings
· Surf the Internet, check email, and occasionally awaken to office phone calls

U.S. Army Weaponry Information Center                   Redstone Arsenal, AL 
Office Automation Clerk                                                  Summer 2007
 · Attempted to mail stack of 50 envelopes for over four weeks
 · Created elaborate desk setup to block sunlight from computer screen
 · Utilized extra supplies and computer equipment around office for personal home use
 
State University's READ Program                                  Still This Town, SA
Personal Tutor                                                                 Fall 2006 – Spring 2007
 · Played checkers with student who refused to read
 · Gained greater self-confidence by comparing abilities to third graders 

Camelot Tennis Camp                                                   Huntsville, AL
Tennis Instructor                                                               Summer 2006
 · Developed beginner ball-bouncing class while 7-year-olds played guitar with rackets
 · Advanced students from near incapability to complete frustration

Prince Law Firm                                                             Huntsville, AL
Office Assistant/Courthouse Runner                                  Summer 2005
 · Ran to the courthouse and back…and then back again…and again and again
 · Ensured timely delivery of snacks and drinks for office employees
 

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